jadekirk: (Team Free Will)
jadekirk ([personal profile] jadekirk) wrote2013-01-29 11:24 am

Fic: Number One With A Silver Bullet

Title: Number One With A Silver Bullet
Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel, James (OC)
Summary: Dean patches James up after a hunt. James is not happy and Dean gets threatened.
Rating: PG13
A/N: Sort of sequel to 'Just A Scratch' as it refers to events that happen in that fic.


"You shot me," James moaned as he lay on the bed face down with Dean straddling his back, armed with a pair of tweezers. "In the arse!" He yelped as Dean dug into his skin to get at the bullet. "Ow!"

Dean smacked James on his thigh. "Stop moving. You're a whiny little bitch when you've been injured, aren't you?"

"Am not. Not my fault that you can't hit a werewolf at close range. Yeowch!"

Dean was nearly thrown off James as the red head bucked his hips. "Stop that."

"Silver bullets hurt."

"You won't heal with the bullet still in you," Sam commented from the other bed.

"Hurry it up. An arthritic snail could move faster than you," James growled.

Dean chose to ignore the insult and smacked James again. "Stop moving. It will go faster if you'd just stay still."

"Shall we tie you down?" Sam asked with a smile. "You did threaten to tie me down when you patched me up."

"That was only claws, not that was a picnic for you, Sam. I didn't try and torture you by being too damn slow."

"You sat on me."

"Shall I get Sam to sit on you?" Dean asked. "Do you want a giant Sasquatch butt on your back? Maybe you'd stay still then so I can get this bullet out."

"Your bedside manner sucks, Dean," James commented. "A Dalek would be a better nurse than you. Sam is a much better choice than you."

"Not sure if I like being compared to a Dalek," Sam commented.

"You know what I mean, Sam. You'd be much more gentle than Dean is. Hell, if Dean was turned into a Cyberman, he'd probably be a better nurse."

"I will shoot you again."

"Wanker." James stilled.

"Whiny bitch."

"Dirtbag."

"Dick."

"Use mine to good advantage."

"Chill. Just keep still."

"Assbutt."

"Dude, you've been talking to Cas again, haven't you?"

"So what if I... Ow!"

"Stay still. I don't want to look at your ass any longer than necessary."

"You love my arse. I've heard you."

"Whatever. Stay still."

"How can I stay still when an evil torturer is poking and prodding at me?"

"If you stay still, I'll get Cas and Sam to kiss your boo-boo better," Dean said as he wielded the tweezers like they were a weapon.

Sam stood up. "I can see you'll be a while. I'll get us some food."

"Don't leave me here with the sadistic wannabe surgeon."

"Don't make me shoot you again."

"Okay, I'll be back soon," Sam muttered as he headed to the door. He opened the door, walked out and quickly closed it, leaning against it with a sigh. He could hear James growling out a threat of his own. "Better get a good supply of coffee," he muttered as he moved to the Impala.


Ten minutes later, Sam juggled the food items in his arms to try and open the motel room door. A rush of wings signified the arrival of Castiel, who quickly took some of the items out of Sam's arms. "Thanks Cas."

"It was not a problem, Sam."

Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the key to the motel room, unlocked it and stepped inside, followed closely by Castiel.

James' angry and pain-filled voice was the first thing Sam heard. "... Go to the beach next, I'm going to get all the seagulls to dive-bomb you and steal your dinner." James was lying on the bed still with Dean sitting on him but Dean was now wielding a needle and thread as he stitched up the wound.

"I see you're still at it," Sam commented.

Dean suddenly laughed. "Dude, I'm impressed. You haven't repeated an insult or a threat yet. Some of them were very creative."

"Seagulls?" Castiel asked, tilting his head.

"Seagulls are evil buggers," James said. "Am going to turn Dean into seagull bait."

"Dean is not seagull bait. He looks nothing like a fish," Castiel commented.

"Seagulls don't care. They dive-bomb anything. Even unsuspecting cats. Dean would be a very tempting target to 'em."

"I will shoot you again," Dean stated as he finished stitching James up. "There, all done," he added, putting a clean gauze on the wound and climbing off James.

"Four million years later!" James groaned as he stood up and quickly pulled his pants up.

"I was not aware that much time had passed already. Perhaps there is something wrong with the Earth's rotation."

Sam sighed. "Cas, James was being sarcastic."

"I see."

"I brought coffee," Sam stated with a smile.

James walked over to Sam. "Sam, you're my best friend," he said, taking the coffee from Sam.

"How come he gets the preferential treatment and all I get are threats?" Dean asked.

"He brought me coffee. That makes him my friend. Plus he wasn't torturing me a few minutes ago with a pair of tweezers."