jadekirk: (Giving Me Teh Evils)
jadekirk ([personal profile] jadekirk) wrote2012-08-07 08:27 am

Fic: Even Drunken Hippos Don't Cause As Much Mess

Title: Even Drunken Hippos Don't Cause As Much Mess
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Martha, Master
Summary: The Master blinked up at Martha innocently and rubbed against her leg, leaving a streak of egg yolk, flour and vinegar on the material, purring as she stared in horror at the devastation that the Master had caused. The Master gets himself into trouble. Sequel to 'Master Changes', The Sound of Bells' and 'Trust Is An Issue'.
Rating: PG13
A/N: Not mine, only wish they were. All I own is a black cat, that the feline Master is based on, and the three bells on the cat collar.



The Master blinked up at Martha innocently and rubbed against her leg, leaving a streak of egg yolk, flour and vinegar on the material, purring as she stared in horror at the devastation that the Master had caused. A random moth hunting expedition had ended in disaster with the Master knocking over various items in the kitchen, covering his entire body with a foul smelling cocktail of food items. 'Fear me, the Great Moth Hunter.'

Martha scooped up the Master and held him at arm's length. "Master, you smell."

'How dare you! I had a wash this morning.'

"I think you need a bath."

'Put me down and I'll get right on that.'

The Doctor smiled at her. "I did get some special shampoo for him."

The Master wriggled in her arms as Martha and the Doctor walked to the bathroom. 'Don't you dare! No! No! No!" he protested loudly as he was unceremoniously dumped in the bath and had the shower spray put on him. 'That's cold!' He squirmed, trying to escape the bath. 'Wait until I get hold of the person who turned me into this! I'm going to claw him so hard, he's going to be singing soprano for the rest of his life. I'm going to claw you so hard, Doctor that your next regeneration will feel it. I hate you! I'm going to sit on your bed and spread my wet fur all over your pillow.'

"Will you shut up?! People will think we're torturing you."

'You are! I'll tell the RSPCA that you're being mean to me, a poor defenseless little cat. I don't need a bath." The Master wriggled, trying to use his claws and teeth to break free of Martha's grip as the Doctor shampooed him. 'I smell like a girl. All the other cats will mock me.' The Master felt a thrill of satisfaction as his teeth made contact with the Doctor's arm, drawing blood and eliciting a yelp of pain from the Doctor. 'Ha! Take that!'

"You sure he's not a Hellcat, Doctor?" Martha asked, trying to hold the Master still so the Doctor could rinse him off. "Ow! You little bugger!"

The Doctor finished rinsing the Master. "All done."

The Master finally wriggled free and dashed to the door and started washing himself. 'I'm going to put it on Twitter.' He shook his paws in disgust. 'Just as soon as I can get to a computer.'

"Suppose we better start on the kitchen," the Doctor said with a sigh.

"Yeah. Just like old times. The Master makes a mess and we have to clean up after him."

"He's just being a cat. Chasing a silly old moth."

"Thought cats were supposed to be graceful. The Master leaps around like a drunken hippo trying to do ballet."

The Master allowed a catly smirk to cross his face. 'At least I got that moth and I don't have to clean up the mess in the kitchen. You two are going to be in there for hours!'

[identity profile] jadekirk.livejournal.com 2012-08-07 09:47 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks for your comment. Poor Master! Having to have the horror of a bath.
ext_3965: (Curious Kitten)

[identity profile] persiflage-1.livejournal.com 2012-08-07 09:50 am (UTC)(link)
Seemed a suitable punishment for the mess he'd made!

[identity profile] jadekirk.livejournal.com 2012-08-07 10:34 am (UTC)(link)
LOL True! You can just imagine the Master's tweet on Twitter though. 'My minions were so mean to me. they gave me a bath. Only 'cause I knocked a few things over while hunting a moth. :('
Edited 2012-08-07 11:35 (UTC)
ext_3965: (10 M Hands Hug)

[identity profile] persiflage-1.livejournal.com 2012-08-07 11:38 am (UTC)(link)
LOL Yeah...

[identity profile] garpu.livejournal.com 2012-08-07 12:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Woohoo! Good to see you writing again!

[identity profile] jadekirk.livejournal.com 2012-08-07 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks. :D